4. meaning &/or joy.

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in my quest for meaning
i renounced the potential
for joy in my life.
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too late i seemingly realized
that joy is perhaps all
that is meaningful in life.
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what do i now do with truth
that i cannot live or experience fully?
for the human lifespan is too brief
& there remain umpteen loftier & deeper
mysteries seeking my satisfactory investigations.
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so perhaps joy is for the fools
who would succumb by the petty wayside
the spiral to god is steep & dangerous indeed
& the countless have fallen & failed.
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love draws me
the magnet tugs
it is for me but
to allow the inevitable consummation to follow
so help me my supreme lord master
i am traversing & transcending challenging glories
no soul in human form
ever conceived or desired before!
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your gifted pleasure
could not possibly have been
a superficial impulse
nor can it possibly
be denied by a servant creation
you sired to but your glory
so help me for i believe
& i need you to realize my beliefs!
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clinging to a faith
that can verily devastate or recreate
the mighty himalayas n times over
with but a single
powerful wish or thought of mine
i experience with humble gratitude
the avalanche of grace overflowing
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yes just as i breathe
shall i serve your mission
& please do cause the chosen souls
to arrive directly unto me
i am lonely in my need
for a love that deserves mine
other than just yours of course!
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